FOCUS ON THE JOURNEY, NOT THE DESTINATION
Over the years, I have come to realize something: As human beings, we often want to achieve something so badly that we barely notice the days we spend trying to achieve it. We set goals for ourselves passing an exam, earning a promotion, writing a book, or finally reaching a place we have been working toward for years. Our minds are always fixed on the finish line. When will we succeed? When will we be able to relax? When will we finally feel satisfied with ourselves? We often treat what we do today as something we must endure simply to reach tomorrow.
But when tomorrow arrives, another goal is waiting for us. We accomplish one thing and move on to the next. Eventually, we may look back and realize that we have spent years constantly trying to catch up with something. And we may find ourselves asking: In all that rushing around, when did we actually take the time to enjoy the days we were living?
There is a story that invites us to reflect on this question.
One day, a student asks his master:
“Master, if I meditate every day, how long will it take me to attain enlightenment?”
“Ten years,” the master replies.
The student becomes a little impatient.
“What if I meditate twice a day?”
“Twenty years,” the master answers.
The student is puzzled.
“Why would it take longer if I practice more?”
The master smiles and says:
“Because you cannot have one eye on the destination and the other on the road. Both eyes must be on the road.”
At first, this answer may seem strange. Yet it points to a mistake we all make from time to time. When our minds are constantly focused on the outcome, we may fail to give enough attention to what we are actually doing. Eager to succeed as quickly as possible, we become impatient and begin to see every delay as a failure. Our efforts increase, but our peace of mind diminishes.
We can see this in many areas of life, from our student years to our working lives. A student may worry more about the grade on an exam than about understanding the subject. An academic may become more concerned with what a published article will do for their career than with the new knowledge the research might contribute. An employee may spend more time waiting for the next promotion than taking pride in the quality of the work itself. In such situations, our goals may motivate us to work harder while simultaneously distancing us from the work we are doing.
Of course, we need goals, and we must make an effort to achieve them. The problem is not having ambitions; it is postponing our lives until the day we reach them. “Let me finish this task, and then I'll rest.” “Let me earn a little more money, and then I'll make time for myself.” “Let me get that title first, and then I'll relax.” Years can pass while we keep making these promises to ourselves. And when the day we have been waiting for finally arrives, we find another reason to put our peace of mind off until later.
We also know that not every outcome is entirely within our control. Sometimes we work hard but do not receive the results we hoped for. Sometimes an opportunity we believe we deserve goes to someone else. Sometimes circumstances change despite all our preparation. At such moments, it is easy to feel that our efforts have been wasted. Yet an outcome we fail to achieve does not automatically diminish what we have learned, the experience we have gained, or the effort we have made along the way.
Another thing I have come to understand over the years is that we should think not only about where we have arrived, but also about what we may have given up to get there. The time we could not spend with our families because of a position we were pursuing, the friendships we neglected in our eagerness to succeed, and the small pleasures we failed to notice because we were always busy often become visible only when we look back. Since lost time cannot be recovered, this realization can leave us with a quiet sense of regret.
None of this means that we should abandon our goals and simply let life carry us wherever it will. On the contrary, I believe we need to pay closer attention to what we are doing while working toward our goals. If we are writing a book, we should care not only about when we will finish it but also about what we are thinking and discovering as we write. If we are teaching a student, we should look beyond exam results and consider the kind of person that student is becoming. If we are talking with a friend, we should genuinely listen rather than simply wait for our turn to speak.
After all, life is not made up of empty stretches between major achievements and important milestones. The seemingly ordinary moments of everyday life are life itself. The taste of a cup of tea in the morning, a conversation with a friend we have not seen in a long time, or the moment a student finally understands something that once seemed impossible these are not merely preparations for some future reward. They are moments worth experiencing in their own right.
Perhaps this is where the master's answer reveals its deeper meaning. The student sees meditation as a means of attaining enlightenment as quickly as possible. The master, however, is reminding him to give himself fully to the practice rather than constantly calculating how far he has left to go. Someone so preoccupied with the destination that they cannot see the road may also miss what the journey has to teach them.
The lesson I draw from this story is not that we should dismiss our goals, but that we should maintain a healthy distance from them. We should do our best, make our plans, work hard, and continue to grow. But we should not measure the value of each day solely by how much closer it brings us to our destination. Sometimes progress comes not from moving faster, but from paying attention to what we are doing and knowing when to pause and reflect.
Perhaps we should ask ourselves a simple question:
Are we living in order to achieve things, or are we trying to achieve things while we live?
The difference may seem small, but it can determine how we spend our lives. After all, the time we devote to reaching our goals is also time we spend from the limited time we have to live.
Let us have goals, but let us not tie our entire lives to the day we finally achieve them. If we neglect the road we travel, we may diminish the meaning of the place we eventually reach. What matters is not only where we arrive, but also how we live along the way and the kind of people we become in the process.